So darn sweet.





I was talking to clinton just now. And i realised how unsatisfied i was.

Is the grass always greener on the other side? Am i just imagining it, or is it for real.

I see my friends loving what they have, content and happy. And its just lacking on my side. Even the vibe is all wrong when i talk to him. We seem different from others. Its uneasy talking on the phone with him. When it seems SO much easier to talk to other guys on the phone. There seems to be so much to talk about, with them. Its just so much easier; there's no stress in finding things to talk about.

Every time, its the same thing, same questions, same content. Its getting to be a burden.

Would i have done all the things i did if he was here?
I try to convince myself that its only for fun, that nothing's ever going to come out of it, that what he doesnt know wont hurt him.

But subconciously, am i trying to sabotage the thing we have?

The first time was okay.

The second time was really weird. It was like we couldnt connect. He didnt seem happy.

The third time, i was just trying to get the hell away.

Should i even try the fourth time?